Bleeding Blue !!!!

empty roads ... smooth traffic....no client calls ....excitement , preparations and celebrations........
seemed like i am back to the school sports tournament days...every one excited... high spirits all over .......today the entire India was one team.....

I am not a cricket fan..somehow could never take interest in the sport.But today i watched it through out without blinking eyes...shouting , cheering , praying ...for "my team".
no , i have not become a fan of the game...but i have become a die hard fan of we indians....the spirit of india...

the only religion that unites us "cricket ". today we had the same prayer & we were all Bleeding blue :)

the pressure the tension was boiling up in the cafeterias and nt at the work stations....and
outside those showroom and shops wr ppl were peeping in to see that big lcd to knw the scores...

irrespective of creed,caste,religion,gender,designations...we had the same slogans...and ofcourse the same slangs.. against the opponents...

The chai wala outside the ofc and the sr.mgr, the auto wala and the mgmt trainee,the grl who never spoke and the liftman we all were 2gthr cheering 4 "our team"

the only conversations heard over phones were "score kya hua"

"madam..india jeet jaega" the auto wala said while dropin me home...as if reassuring me and himself...somewr confident and smwr tensed at the same time...

Thank GOD and all those dropped catches...we won! I,my neigbour ,that autowala,the chai wala,my boss,his boss WE ALL WON !!!
We all r different..we fight over my state and ur state and stil share the same lunch box...we try so hard to luk western and cool and stil pay those extra bucks 4 ghar ka khana...bargain 4 evry posible thing...and stil spend ostentiously 4 celebrating the newly bought microwave.. we are amazing...

We have different colors but al of us bleed saffron,white and green end of teh day ...and this time the newly found color of the nation we all "bleed blue"...

One Last Call !!!

Ridhi was standing on her terrace, staring at the wide horizon of the sky....wondering if any of these stars has the answer to her questions..if any of these stars can turn the wheel of time back...

Neither had she looked so beautiful in her life ...nor had she been so shattered ....

Wearing her bridal dress.. today she was standing on the thresh hold of a new life.But, she was somewhere stuck between the past and the present ...

thinking ...Would her life have been any different if she would have made that "one last call"

Ridhi was 23 when she met ABIR..

It was a staurday evening ..ridhi was waiting for priya  ..abir came to drop priya. But he didnt even bother to look at ridhi...not even say a Hello...ridhi out of courtesy greeted him and he responded in a manner as if he was forced to do so ...

Ridhi had never met someone so arrogant..

Next week Ridhi planned a movie with Priya and was really dissapointed to see Abir...she was hoping against all hopes that he had just come to drop priya and how she hated priya for asking him to stay ...

But , that day she spoke to Abir for the first time and realised that there was something which was deep inside him .His eyes were so expressive it seemed as if they could see through her soul....

That night lying on her Bed she couldnt believe herself .....she was thinking about Abir....There was something really mesmerising about him....

her phone rang...

"hi"

It seemed as if her heart had skipped a beat but she managed to say ..

"Hi "

"Did you reach home safe ?"

"ya ! thanks for the concern"

"How come you are still awake? working ?"

How much she wanted to say  "No! thinking about you " but fnally she managed to say "just reading a book"

"which one ?"

" half a face "

"Must be  a feminist kind of a book "

"yes ! sort of ... but why ???"

"are you a feminist ?"

"No ! i am not .. I just respect my gender "

"Ha! all feminists say that "...and the argument went on ...

Next morning she met priya "priya he is worse than what i thought ...rude and a MCP dare not bring him again to meet me.

But ridhi was thinking about abir....

that night abir called her..she didnt pick up ..but then she thought it might be too rude and she called back determined to cut the conversation short .

but she didnt realise when the night had passed and they were still talking...

"Ridhi ..I am a scorpion .scorpions do not fall in love very easily ...but when they do they are very passionate and possessive "

next day ridhi was thinking ...what it would be like to fall in love with a person like Abir...

but next moment she discarded the thought thinking that she will never ever fall in love with a person like Abir....

But ..for next few days she couldnt get her mind off his thoughts ...she couldnt figure out why ?she wanted to call him but never did..but she waited for his call.....even he dint call...

But there was something stuck inside ridhi's mind she dint know what it was ...

One day Abir called up .

Hi ! how are you?

"I am good ...how about you ?"

y didnt you call up from so many days ?

because you didnt ...

Ridhi didnt know what to say ...but finally she managed "Abir i dont know  why ...it may sound insane ...but from past 1 week i have been thnking about you ...

"Ridhi i cant fall  in love "

"Abir i am not in love with you..and i will never even fall in love with you "

"Ma'am you will not even realise when you will fall in love with me"

"Abir you are thinking too much "

The next evening they met ...ridhi was happy ...she cherished each and every moment with abir...

she wanted to know him more...

She loved this feeling but she didnt want to accept that can be love...

she will never forget that evening it was raining heavily ..when abir called up "ridhi i want to meet you..where are you "

"i am in office "

it was pouring and abir was drowned ....ridhi was happy to see him but somewhere she could sense something is wrong.

Ridhi do you like me??

yes i do ...

what do you think about me abir ?

i dont know....you havent got into my mind space yet and i dont believe in love ...

Abir i still  believe in the fairy tales of life ..i believe in love ...it happens for all of us ..and one day it will happen for you too...

how much she wanted say "it has happened with me the moment i saw you "

"ridhi lets go home "

ridhi realised that abir was sad...but she didnt know why ..

abir will we meet again ??

lets see...bye !

ridhi could never figure out what happened that day ?why did he react like that?

she could never give  a logic to her feelings as well...

a week later she met priya ..

"priya did you meet abir ?"

"no, but i heard he has left the city "

Ridhi didnt know how to react ...but she felt as if she had lost something very precious....she loved thinking about abir ....she never expected abir to call back nor did she want him to be in his life ..there were no expectations...but she just wanted to know what happened that day ...

she thought of calling him many times but she couldnt...some times out of fear that he will not pick up...some times out of ego that why should she call if he doesnt bother ....

but abir never went out of her thoughts....she knew it wasnt love ...but something was incomplete in her life without him ....

slowly ridhi moved on ...she met samrat she liked him...but never did she feel anything like what she felt for  Abir ...

a part of her never moved on ....it always wondered how abir was...where he was.. what happened  that day ???

today she was getting married ......

holding that peice of paper which shook her from inside ...she was trying to understand why life had to play such a game with her ....

it was letter from Abir ...

that day morning priya gave it to her

"ridhi ....abir gave this letter for you when he was leaving this city ....he wanted me to give it to you when you will have no way to find him out...

Ridhi abir is no more ......

ridhi dint have the courage to read the letter ......but finally she did with her trembling hands......

"Ridhi i know i have hurt you ...i am sorry ...dat day i wanted to tell you

"i love you "

Ridhi i wish i cud confess my feelings to u holding ur hands and lukin into ur eyes...but i have no time ridhi...

I am suffering from aids...and by the time u get this letter i wont b thr..i wish i cud hold ur hand one last time...

But i wil b watching u always...

Ridhi the feelings u have for me..its love...accept it..

I told u.... ma'am u wil nt even realise wn u wil fall in love with me...

Ridhi i know u waited for me...i also waited for u..but i feared loosing you..i cud never summon the courage to reach you...i always wished if one day you would take that first step.. i wish i cud hav holded ur hand one last time...

Ridhi love is not about  being with a person..its abt feeling the presence of dat person in your life..a feeling dat completes you..

Ridhì your memories completed me...thanks for coming to my life...for making me realise how wonderful love can be...I Love you ...

tears were rolling down her eyes ...

"maa'm you will not even realise when you will fall in love with me

she fell in love....lost it ...that one moment changed her life forever ...

how she wished ..she would have taken that first step...she would have made that "one last call"

P.S. not every day someone makes your heart skip a beat..makes u smile without reason ...and when that person comes to your life dont loose him....no matter what role that person plays in your life ...for how long he stays with you....dont loose him ....always make that "one last call "

तुम्हें चाहने में एक सकून सा मिलता है कहीं...

तुम्हें  हासिल करू ऐसी भी मगर कोई तमन्ना नहीं ....

हर वक़्त के तुम्हारे इंतज़ार में एक मज़ा है कोई .....

तुम शायद कभी ना  आओ पर इस बात की भी  अब मुझे परवाह नहीं.........

एक अरसा हुआ जब तुम मिले थे ,तुम्हे तो शायद अब वो लम्हा भी याद नहीं .....

मेरा वक़्त तो लेकिन तुम्हे ढूंढता सा थम गया है वहीँ पर कहीं .........

कभी एक दर्द , कभी सकून दे जाता है तुम्हारा ख्याल....

दिल को एक यकीन सा है की तुम आस पास हो मेरे कहीं ना कहीं... 

कभी एक लम्हा मुस्कराहट,कभी एक लम्हा आसूं बनकर हर वक़्त साथ हो तुम मेरे....

ज़िन्दगी को तुम्हारे एहसास की अब आदत हो चली है कहीं न कहीं....

Emotiöns bhi kitne stupid hote hai na??..logic hi nahi samajhte...

Emotiöns bhi kitne stupid hote hai na??..logic hi nahi samajhte... This has been one of my favourite lines always.. (movie "tum bin")
i alws hav ths line..runing in my mind evry tm i dont c logic behind someone's behaviour... At times even my behaviour...

Emotions r too naive to understand logic..

Smtimes u hav al the reasons in place and stil emotions behave like those stubborn kids who wil nt listen 2 u..and hav thr own way...

Thr r times u feel smthng and dnt knw rsns for it..say Wn ur best frn at school shard the seat wth sm1 else and u felt jealous..(even wn u knew the teacher askd her to do so)..or wn u had dat incomplete asignment and stil felt u wil get away..with out being punishd
And wn thr ws that xam wch dint go wel (coz u were busy chkin out the gal nxt door the night b4 xam) and u stil felt u wil come out with flying colours...

wth time emotions just get older and more complex (like humans) but they never become wiser (unlike humans)

we humans bcum logical and shut our emotions...but emotions figt bk and mk thr presence fèlt..and wn they do it..they mk sure that we listen and fulfil thr demands...

The way we becum kidish with kids..we bcum illogical with emotions..we just do wt they say...


Emotions they cn do wonderful and nasty thngs to u...they can mk u fal in love wth the person who wil never love u back...and hurt the öne who loves u..... Inspires u to bcum a rockstar instead of a doctor... fíght wth ur best frn and cry 4 him wn he is nt thr... resign d job in a matter of a sec wch u gt after years of hard work

emotions r unpredictable.. at times they mk u cranky and at times they mk u a sweet heart...

But..aint emotions necessary evil...imagine falin love wth a person wth logics put in place...
Bcumin an engineer/doctor..coz logic says so...nt huging ur frn in a public place coz logic wont alow...attending al lectures in clg coz logic demands...

Just imagine if we dnt fulfil dmands of emotions we wil b misin out on dose precious moments we cherish and those wonderful people whom we look up to.....we wud hav never had all those clases wch we bunkd to watch a movie wth frns, we wud never hav opend our heart to that strange guy and made a wondrful love story, we wud hav misd our first kis,we wud hav never knwn that successful enterpreneur who bcame so coz emotions drove him 2 hav his way,a movi star who left her family behind 2 bcum so,a novelist who left his logical IT Career to write dat best seller...


Emotions r ilogical bt isnt life beautiful without logic...they r inocent and stuborn...let thm do wt they wnt..dnt giv thm logic they wil nt undrstand....just hold thr hand and they wil tk u thru the most wonderful journey cld life :-)

तुम्हारा अस्तित्व ...........

मेरे अस्तित्व से तुम्हारा अस्तित्व जुड़ा है,

क्युंकी मैं पिता हूँ I

मैंने तुम्हे जीवन दिया,
तुम्हे संभाला अपनी स्नेह की छाया में,

कठोर दुनिया की धुप को तुमसे दूर किया,
पर अब तुम पर मेरा अधिकार कहाँ है ?

मेरे लिए अंजान हो तुम,

अब मैंने तुम्हारा कन्यादान किया है I

मेरे अस्तित्व से तुम्हारा अस्तित्व जुड़ा है,

क्युंकी मैं पति हूँ I

मैंने तुमको एक घर दिया है,

तुम्हारे जीवन को एक नई दिशा एक नया अर्थ दिया है I
मैं इस जीवन के अंत तक तुम्हारे साथ रहूँगा,

वो स्त्री जो तुम में अभी कही अधूरी है, मैं उसे पूरा करूँगा I
पर अब मुझे जाना है, तुम्हे एक माँ होने का जो अधिकार दिया मैंने,

तुम्हे, उसे निभाना है I

अब मुझसे ज्यादा तुम्हारे अस्तित्व पर उसका अधिकार है,

अब मेरा ये अंश ही तुम्हारे जीवन का आधार है I

मेरे अस्तित्व से तुम्हारा अस्तित्व जुड़ा है,

क्युंकी मैं बेटा हूँ I
मैंने तुम्हारे स्त्रीत्व को पूरा किया है,
एक बेटी, एक पत्नी थी तुम मैंने तुम्हे मातृत्व का सुख दिया है I
पर अब तुम्हारे ममता की छाया से मुझे निकलना है,
मैंने अपने लिए एक पथ चुना है मुझे उसपर चलना है I

तुम्हे एक बेटी, एक पत्नी, एक माँ बनाया हमने,
तुम्हारे अस्तित्व को अपने ढंग में अपनी तरह गढ़ा हमने I
तुम्हे एक नया अस्तिव दे सके वो भूमिका अब हमारे पास नहीं है,
अब तुम्हे अपने लिए एक अस्तित्व गढ़ना है,
तुम क्या हो, जब हम नहीं है

इस सवाल का उत्तर ढूँढना है I

पर अब तो जीवन का ये सफ़र ख़त्म होता हुआ है दिखता,
काश ये सवाल तुमने खुद से पहले किया होता। 

तुमने एक बेटी, पत्नी और माँ की भूमिका को निपुणता से निभाया,
पर भूल गई तुम खुदको कहीं, ये एहसास तुम्हे कभी नहीं आया। 

तुम फिर से आओगी हमारे जीवन में, 

पर इस बार अपने अस्तित्व का एक हिस्सा अपने लिए रखना,
अपनी अभिलाषाओं को अपने रंगों से उसको तुम गढ़ना। 

I fear .....

You have gone so deep inside me..that i have no strength to come any closer 2 u..
For i fear that i will confront the real u...

There is a mystery concealed deep down your eyes ..tht i no longer want to luk at u..
For i fear the loss of the solace my heart gets in its longing to reveal u...

Your words echo so deep dwn my heart..dat i wish never to hear u..
For,i fear the diming of those sounds..wch r safe in my heart as a part of u...

The divinity of feelings thru wch my soul cncts to u is so strong...dat i no more wnt u..
For i fear the loss of the sanctity of those feelings wn i see the tainted reflection of u ...

I live by faith so strong that u r for real..dat m scard to hold u..
For i fear the pain of knwing the truth..dat i wil eternaly wait 4 u...

Those moments in wch i hav knwn u ...were none i had known before....the truth of those feelings are safe in my heart and i ask for nothing more .....
for, i fear in the light of the harsh truth,the beauty of those moments will fade away....
i will hold them deep dwn the way they are...for they bring hope dat i will re-live those moments again one day

Unfolding layers....

Dont judge me by what i show you..

For , there are layers to my existence....
which are at times maligned and at times demand reverence...

Some times i wear a facade..for i m too scared to loose u..
Some times i stand undaunted & naked to be explored by you..

Sometimes i stand strong enough to let u go..
Sometimes i m vulnerable enough to give up evrythng to just hold on to you..

Sometimes i m cold as a stone 2 satisfy my ego..
Sometimes i bend down ..coz deep down..i need u dats the only thing i know...

Sometimes i give up and give no heed to what my heart has to say..
Sometimes i live by faith..and move towards an unknown way..

Some times i am rational and find reasons for all my actions..
Some times i am illogical and flow with the wind of my emotions...

Sometimes i am sure and clearly know myself..
Sometimes i am astonished and meet a new persona of my own self..

My heart pains when u judge the part of me to which u cudnt relate...
coz my heart yearns for the moment when you will unfold the layers u still haven't met...

A part of me wil get entangled in life and just move ahead..
But deep down somewhere there wil b a part of me wch wil be still caught in those moments and eternally wait...

Which part of me wil win the battle of existence and survive...i cant say..
At this hour evry part of me wishes dat you would look back..to find out that part of me wch is waiting 4 u to give purpose to its existence.. one day....

Turning 30....@ 25???

Bollywood... Has a bigger role to play in our lives than we presume..its the greatest source of inspiration,the mirror of our aspirations and smtms just a retrospect to the journey of our lives...

Just encounterd one of such spectacular creatns of bollywud..
Turning 30...

No..i dnt hav the intentions to review the movie...just analysing the msg sent across..

The protagonist naina..goes thru so much heartbreak,career crisis,getin cheated, rediscovering love and finding a new self...al at the thresh hold of 30...

But did she realy need those 30 years to grow up to dat maturity..wsnt it a matter of moments..moments wn u encounter life...and growup...dint u grow up in the moment wn the love of ur lif walkd out of ur life or the so cald mentor @ work fired u...or ur best frnd tuk ur galfrnd away...

@ 25 i cud relate 2 naina...i cud c y ws she angry,hw did she forgive,y ws she nasty..

i dint hav to touch the thresh hold of 30 to understand dat ppl walk out of ur lives wn u need thm most..its a world wr man eats man...people u trust stab u.. but u forgive u rediscover u find strength and u move ahead..

u laugh at some experiences..treasure sm..and just go numb 4 sm...

We do not grow up by years...we grow up by experiences...
Smtms u turn 30 at 25 sm tms u r stil 13 at 30....

Its how we live these experiences...wt we learn out of thm....and hw we decid to tk the course of life fwd...

Its turning 30 at mind..learning 4m experiences..but being 25 (even better 20) @ heart :) so u can cherish those experiences..and stil grow up....and yet njoy and appreciate life :)

Love her... pamper her..and thn bade her a gudbye...forever !

Have u ever wondered y sum ppl,sum memories just dnt go out of ur tgts...making u feel uncomfortable and sad @ times...

Wht do we do when smthngs just dnt get out of our mind...we fight within ourselves,ignore,get busy... But does dat realy help? For me it doesnt...and me being into the category of normal humans i asume it is just the case wth most of us...

I get into such troubles quite often...i guess dats coz my EQ (emotional quetiont)
is kind of higher than others..so i fall into ths trap of not been able to forget thngs..quite often..

I have tried and tested al the formulae of moving on..and discovred dat none works...i kept busy ,ate chocolates (trust me dsnt work) 24x7 workd hard on fb and eventualy changd my lingo wth omg...lol etc..
After al these efforts just figurd out one thng...nothng works !

Sadness is like a cute little puppy...the more u run away 4m it the more it wil chase u...the only way 2 deal wth it is..let it stay..hold it, pamper it and once its satisfied it wil leave. :)

and ths formula is tried tested and succesful...just b sad wn u r sad..dnt b scard of the fact that ppl wil tag u as "agony aunt" ofcourse they wil...let agony romance wth u completly...once its done it wil leave...

So..chill and lets celebrate sadness :) let it b satisfied..once it is done bade her a gudbye forever...

"Its a journey...and not a destination"

Love is a journey and not a destination!! Some days ago this sentence didnt really made sense to me.For me love was always a feeling neither a journey nor a destination.

i meet so many people..evry1 has his own definition 4 love...and each of these definition is just perfect.
Rite nw to me "love being a journey and nt destination" seems perfect.. :)
its a journey wr u knw a person daily and eventualy the realisation comes...thr is alws smthng abt dat person dat u wnt 2 knw more...

you see a person in his worst and u still want to love him ...u see him in his best and u just know ...u want to be with him
but i wonder ...how u really reach the person u want to take this journey with ..how do u know if he is the one ...how do you know if he is right.

and that is where the Magic happens. Magic where the most ordinary person becomes just so special , u just dont know y ....whn u stop at that person and u know nothing could have been better then this .

all of it sounds so whimsical but ask all those people who have been fortunate enough to have these feelings...... this is for real ...

Love happens ...the magic happens ....which leads us to that wonderful journey of life ..

:) :)

अधूरे पल.....

जब भी मैँ तुमसे मिलु, मन कहता है एक वो बात हो जो अधूरी रह जाए...
एक वो बात जो पूरी करने तुम आओगे ....ये एक उम्मीद एक आस मन में रह जाए..

वो रास्ता जहाँ तुम मिले थे...कहीं वहां वो एक अधुरा मोड़ हो जो मुझ तक लौट कर आये

जब भी तुम मुझे देखो..एक सवाल हो तुम्हारे मन में जो अधुरा रह जाए जिसका जवाब लेने आओगे तुम ये उमीद मेरे मन में रह जाए...

तुम आओगे कभी...ये नहीं जानती मैं...पर ये अधूरे पल,मुझे पूरा करते है...
मेरे अधूरे जीवन को सपने दखने की वजह देते है..

ये अधूरी बातें मुझे तुमसे जोडती है..तुम अब भी हो...हमेशा रहोगे एक उम्मीद बनकर ॥
मेरे जीवन का एक वो सपना , एक वो उद्देश्य ......जो पूरा होगा कभी एक ऐसी आस बनकर ।

The fairy tale life

Some one told me thrs a difference betwn wt u percieve about urself and what you actually are.

But dnt we all live in a virtual world or atleast wish to live in dat world. Aint we all trying to be what we wish to be rather than what we are, striving for a better life always . Dont we all wish for a perfect life which seems like a "fairy tale" .yes,by saying
"all" i m also including those "practical" people who just stay rooted to ground and do not shut their eyes to the brutal world.(most of us are like dat) but in the process of being "real" dnt we just miss to see dat life is beautiful.

Isnt ths "fairy tale" perception of ours give us the strength of just moving on..belive in love..belive in trusting people u dnt knw...creating a perfect world for urself...

Each one of us come across nasty people..and gud people as well but y do we label the whole world as nasty...y do we stop appreciating love because one person broke ur heart...y do we presume thr is no truth left bcoz sum1 is untruthful...y do we create boundaries...y do we shut dat door wch takes us to the fairy tale world..

Y dnt we just apreciate life..we gt decieted so that we can value trust,our heart breaks so dat we can value love...

Its al abt hw u percieve ur life 2 b..that fairy tale life exists for real...u just have to come out of ur boundaries, inhibitions and perceptions...to embrace that life...