Why safe workplace for women is a myth and will remain so.

Headlines about sexual harassment at workplace are in the limelight lately. But, sexual harassment in the workplace is not new and is rampant everywhere. Safe workplace for women is a myth and going to remain so. Before all you HRs start barging in justifying how efforts are made to create a safer workplace for women or how fantastic your workplace is when it comes to women safety. Please read through.

Almost 69% women do not report sexual harassment at work. Understandably so, because some of these behaviors seem to be harmless and are deemed normal, and most women don't know how to deal with it even if it makes us uncomfortable.

The unwanted attention someone showers at you, a colleague stopping by your desk all the time for a small conversation ( which you clearly don't want to have), someone asking you for a coffee break all the time in the company canteen specially when you are alone, you being called 'baby' ' sweety', clients calling a female sales representative for a meeting because they are 'female', those uncomfortable stares. There are numerous ramifications of harassment at workplace, it is not always "physical" or clearly "verbal". In such cases what do you report? Who do you report to?

And this is not going to change because as a culture a "little flirting" has been normalized. He has just asked you out for coffee you know you got to network, your boss calls you sweety, he is a friendly boss so on and so forth. But the problem is graver than you think because as a society we have been told if you step out into the world this is bound to happen, and we should learn to 'deal with it'. So you see this is not a workplace problem. This is a cultural issue of our society. Because people you deal with in workplace will not magically change their behavior or start believing that a certain behavior is NOT OK because it's an office. And, this cultural shift is going to take I don't know how many years or decades or centuries and celebrating "women's day" once a year is not going to solve the issue.

And, we cannot wait for a 'godmother' to wave her magical wand and change the society. So, the only way out is we should take charge.

Now, a colleague you are 'comfortable' with asking you out for a coffee or stopping by your desk to have conversations is normal but the operational phrase here being someone 'you are comfortable with'. Just because you are friendly with one does not means you would want to be friendly with everyone. And, as cliched it may sound 'it is your choice'

So ladies, please don't 'deal with it' because it's bound to happen CALL IT OUT. You don't like to be called 'sweety' make it known. You don't like a certain colleague's unwanted attention or small talks 'tell them so' you don't like someone commenting how pretty you are every day 'say so', you know the 'business meetings' mean no business, don't take them. Be firm, be clear. Anything that is making you 'uncomfortable' is NOT OK.

So, whether cultural change happens today, tomorrow or decades later you ought to take action now. Be vocal, be bold.

Also read the detailed article on - http://www.thesuperindian.in/2017/06/sexual-harrasment-at-workplace/

You are your own CEO

How often have you thought that it would have been a great Idea to leave your job and try out entrepreneurship? Quite often I guess. Sounds like an exciting Idea. Now Imagine getting to be a CEO every single day.  Often we forget that we are responsible for creating the brand that is us. Every single day we have to manage the business that is "us" just like any entrepreneur would do. 

So how do we do that?

1) Create Brand "you"

Every individual is unique, so are you. There must be one quality / skill of yours which you use and count on more than any other. You might be creative or analytical or might have excellent negotiation skills. Find that USP (Unique Selling Proposition) of yours and work on that.

2) Have a long term vision for the brand "you"

What do you want to achieve in the larger scheme of life. Do you want to be an entrepreneur, social worker, a successful marketing person, an author, teacher etc. it might be anything but you need to understand yourself and have a long term vision for yourself. Basis your vision you have to inculcate the right skills, meet the right people, learn more and work towards the vision.

3) Invest right

Basis your long term vision you have to map the ROI of your investments; not just monetary it can be in terms of

• Time (it's the most important investment)

Make sure you invest your time well and on things which helps in creating 'brand you" enriches you.

What is the ROI of the time you are spending on any activity?

The course you took - Is it helping you to grow professionally, the book you read - is it an enriching experience, the hobby you are pursuing - is it helping you to refresh, have a balanced life. You have to invest your time very smartly and productively.

• Emotional well being -

Make sure you invest in the right people (friends, family, colleagues etc) people who do not drain away your positive look out and energy unnecessarily. Even if you have to deal with such people, you have to know how do you  not let them effect your mental well being. Do activities which helps you to have a positive look out towards life and your self.

3) Diversify and be up to date 

Knowing what is happening around the world and even more so in your area of interest - professional and personal is always important. It not only enables you to achieve more and makes you more confident but also establishes you as a thought leader.

Whether you run a business or not you can always become a CEO. SO, be your own CEO.

Women's day - are we really ready for celebrations?

She doesn't pray anymore though she lives next to the "yellamma" temple. She lost her virginity when she was 13. She fell in love once but soon realised its too fancy an indulgence for her. She is the only "man" in the family of 5. But fears that she would no longer be there.....

She is suffering from HIV. She is a Devdasi - Prostitute of GOD!!!

Intimading and sacrilageous right??? But sadly its the truth that prevails at a much larger scale than we expect.

The devdasi culture is a perfect example of the disgusting hypocrisy that exists in our society. A society where we worship female deities in temples but are perfectly fine with commoditising women in every possible way - ads for men's deo, toothpaste, biscuits, cement, where women in skimpy clothes are extremely necessary (product is irrelevant as long a half naked women is there),we enjoy chikni chameli, and munni badnam with women dancing to detogatory lyrics. ( how does that matter that's our favourite party song)

Devdasi culture is another example of the levels to which a section of society can go down to in the name of religious rituals where parents turn pimps and hundreds of innocent girls are forced to become prostitutes in the name of GOD.

(To know more about devdasi culture click here)

http://youtu.be/LB05RUezvNc

On 8th march we will celebrate the "commercialisation of womenhood". We will go for our office sponsored lunches, like status updates on women's day share quotes on empowering women. Happily oblivious of the sect of women for whom being a women is a bane and not a boon, women who don't even get the fundamental right of being a human leave alone being a women. 

But who cares? celebrating women's day is important in our lives with our metro sexual partners, stable careers, bank balances, supportive families, an equal status as our male counter parts and freedom of choice on allmost everything.

All of us have got our fair share of status and freedom in the society. We are already celebrating our womenhood every day we don't need a special day.

The day when each and every women gets the respect she deserves, when we the fortunate and empowered section of women step ahead and give our support to the less fortunate women and bring them to the same level. The day when a ritual like devdasis no more exists. That day we as a society deserve to celebrate women's day in its true sense.

Milaap is one such organisation which is helping these women. This women's day lets make our small contribution to help these women.

http://milaap.org/campaigns/hope 

Welcome to the "Silicon City" !!

It was an exciting ride to the bangalore "international" airport at midnight... starlit sky, smooth road (ok not really) a traffic less drive and of course a long awaited arrival of my hubby made it even more wonderful.
We reached a little early ,the flight was delayed and his baggage was last to arrive. All Together I had enough time at my disposal. I thought of taking a tour of the airport which is said to be getting better day by day.Delighted by the numerous eateries around i decided to grab a coffee and fetch a place to sit.while I was searching for a place to sit and enjoy my coffee. 
I was surprised to spot some unexpected visitors the - stray dogs !

Cursing the authorities of not being vigilant enough I moved away in search of a better place to sit. I looked all around and was disgusted at the site. Dustbins were overflowing, food was littered under the tables making it a midnight buffet venue for the dogs around.
To make situations worse there was an overflowing crowd of people waiting for their kith and kin at the arrivals, Impatiently and shamelessly standing just after the board written "visitors not allowed"

I wanted to run away, I was so appalled but maximum I could go do was go to the loo and later  curse myself for not being able to hold on to call of nature for sometime as the washroom was in a even more pathetic condition. Stinking washroom, open taps ,wet floors. Yuck! is the only word I can think of.
I was shocked , disgusted , disappointed ,worried all at the same time. Any international airport is not just a venue to board flights or see off friends and family it has a larger role to play it's the entry point for anyone entering first time to the country.
 It's the first impression that any outsider gets (I hope and pray that it's not the last one) about us.

Of Course the authorities should be blamed for their negligence and irresponsibility. But isn't it also the fault of ours .we are not civilised enough. We don't follow basic sanitation etiquettes , we don't want to follow rules ,we don't know how to judiciously use public property. Sometimes I really feel that are we eligible enough to stay in developed country or even be a part of the progress. Are we qualified enough to govern ourselves?

I dont have a solution to these issues,but I try to do my bit by following traffic rules, not littering, respecting queues .

I hope some day all of us do our bit,make our country a better place and proudly welcome other parts of the world to our country, our state and proudly tell them "welcome to  silicon city of India. 

A picture is worth thousand words.True..yesterday while i was somberly surfing through the net suddenly stumbled upon this picture..a 96 years old (or shall i say young ) armenian lady with AK47 protecting her house.The very first emotion that ran across my mind was pity..but then a closer look gave goose bumps... seriously! Those eyes were not to be pitied but meant to be revered...the
Valor across that face..gave me chills across the spine..i dont know the conditions which put her into that situation,but i know the determination was something to be learnt from. We with all the luxuries are insecured ,scared all the time..we give up on everything easily.We crib about the system and struggle daily but we dont stand up to fight. We are scared of our country men, we submit to the situations but we dont change them.. We are insecured about almost everything and scared about everything jobs, relations , society etc etc.
we are struggling to save everything,secure everything.
at 96 years when people loose interest in life,this women is safeguarding her house like a tigress , she is not scared, she is determined.may be her hands are fragile,may be they cant even bear the weight of the gun she is holding.But the strength in her eyes is worth a salute.I hope we all had that courage , that strength to meet adversities

Some "English vinglish" lessons :)

After a long long time here comes a movie not just worth spending ur money but also spending some time thinking about it....,1 day past and I m still spell bound ...those subtle but very strong messages still echoing in my head :)

1) love what u do no matter what it is..without the slightest expectation of any kind of admiration ...put your heart into it .some day ur work (wtever it might be) will be an examples to others,like shashi's laddoos.

2) there is no age of learning and. Enjoying life...its one life live it ur ways.

3) spend time with urself ,retrospect,criticise,appreciate urself for who u r....

4) love ur family....they will never let u down...nor should u let them down ever.

5)no matter who understands you and who doesnot...its important to know ur self/ respect ur self...if u dnt then no one will

6) stay connected to your roots..always no matter what you become.

6) the best message "love ur self" and u will love everything about your life....

Bleeding Blue !!!!

empty roads ... smooth traffic....no client calls ....excitement , preparations and celebrations........
seemed like i am back to the school sports tournament days...every one excited... high spirits all over .......today the entire India was one team.....

I am not a cricket fan..somehow could never take interest in the sport.But today i watched it through out without blinking eyes...shouting , cheering , praying ...for "my team".
no , i have not become a fan of the game...but i have become a die hard fan of we indians....the spirit of india...

the only religion that unites us "cricket ". today we had the same prayer & we were all Bleeding blue :)

the pressure the tension was boiling up in the cafeterias and nt at the work stations....and
outside those showroom and shops wr ppl were peeping in to see that big lcd to knw the scores...

irrespective of creed,caste,religion,gender,designations...we had the same slogans...and ofcourse the same slangs.. against the opponents...

The chai wala outside the ofc and the sr.mgr, the auto wala and the mgmt trainee,the grl who never spoke and the liftman we all were 2gthr cheering 4 "our team"

the only conversations heard over phones were "score kya hua"

"madam..india jeet jaega" the auto wala said while dropin me home...as if reassuring me and himself...somewr confident and smwr tensed at the same time...

Thank GOD and all those dropped catches...we won! I,my neigbour ,that autowala,the chai wala,my boss,his boss WE ALL WON !!!
We all r different..we fight over my state and ur state and stil share the same lunch box...we try so hard to luk western and cool and stil pay those extra bucks 4 ghar ka khana...bargain 4 evry posible thing...and stil spend ostentiously 4 celebrating the newly bought microwave.. we are amazing...

We have different colors but al of us bleed saffron,white and green end of teh day ...and this time the newly found color of the nation we all "bleed blue"...

Emotiöns bhi kitne stupid hote hai na??..logic hi nahi samajhte...

Emotiöns bhi kitne stupid hote hai na??..logic hi nahi samajhte... This has been one of my favourite lines always.. (movie "tum bin")
i alws hav ths line..runing in my mind evry tm i dont c logic behind someone's behaviour... At times even my behaviour...

Emotions r too naive to understand logic..

Smtimes u hav al the reasons in place and stil emotions behave like those stubborn kids who wil nt listen 2 u..and hav thr own way...

Thr r times u feel smthng and dnt knw rsns for it..say Wn ur best frn at school shard the seat wth sm1 else and u felt jealous..(even wn u knew the teacher askd her to do so)..or wn u had dat incomplete asignment and stil felt u wil get away..with out being punishd
And wn thr ws that xam wch dint go wel (coz u were busy chkin out the gal nxt door the night b4 xam) and u stil felt u wil come out with flying colours...

wth time emotions just get older and more complex (like humans) but they never become wiser (unlike humans)

we humans bcum logical and shut our emotions...but emotions figt bk and mk thr presence fèlt..and wn they do it..they mk sure that we listen and fulfil thr demands...

The way we becum kidish with kids..we bcum illogical with emotions..we just do wt they say...


Emotions they cn do wonderful and nasty thngs to u...they can mk u fal in love wth the person who wil never love u back...and hurt the öne who loves u..... Inspires u to bcum a rockstar instead of a doctor... fíght wth ur best frn and cry 4 him wn he is nt thr... resign d job in a matter of a sec wch u gt after years of hard work

emotions r unpredictable.. at times they mk u cranky and at times they mk u a sweet heart...

But..aint emotions necessary evil...imagine falin love wth a person wth logics put in place...
Bcumin an engineer/doctor..coz logic says so...nt huging ur frn in a public place coz logic wont alow...attending al lectures in clg coz logic demands...

Just imagine if we dnt fulfil dmands of emotions we wil b misin out on dose precious moments we cherish and those wonderful people whom we look up to.....we wud hav never had all those clases wch we bunkd to watch a movie wth frns, we wud never hav opend our heart to that strange guy and made a wondrful love story, we wud hav misd our first kis,we wud hav never knwn that successful enterpreneur who bcame so coz emotions drove him 2 hav his way,a movi star who left her family behind 2 bcum so,a novelist who left his logical IT Career to write dat best seller...


Emotions r ilogical bt isnt life beautiful without logic...they r inocent and stuborn...let thm do wt they wnt..dnt giv thm logic they wil nt undrstand....just hold thr hand and they wil tk u thru the most wonderful journey cld life :-)

Turning 30....@ 25???

Bollywood... Has a bigger role to play in our lives than we presume..its the greatest source of inspiration,the mirror of our aspirations and smtms just a retrospect to the journey of our lives...

Just encounterd one of such spectacular creatns of bollywud..
Turning 30...

No..i dnt hav the intentions to review the movie...just analysing the msg sent across..

The protagonist naina..goes thru so much heartbreak,career crisis,getin cheated, rediscovering love and finding a new self...al at the thresh hold of 30...

But did she realy need those 30 years to grow up to dat maturity..wsnt it a matter of moments..moments wn u encounter life...and growup...dint u grow up in the moment wn the love of ur lif walkd out of ur life or the so cald mentor @ work fired u...or ur best frnd tuk ur galfrnd away...

@ 25 i cud relate 2 naina...i cud c y ws she angry,hw did she forgive,y ws she nasty..

i dint hav to touch the thresh hold of 30 to understand dat ppl walk out of ur lives wn u need thm most..its a world wr man eats man...people u trust stab u.. but u forgive u rediscover u find strength and u move ahead..

u laugh at some experiences..treasure sm..and just go numb 4 sm...

We do not grow up by years...we grow up by experiences...
Smtms u turn 30 at 25 sm tms u r stil 13 at 30....

Its how we live these experiences...wt we learn out of thm....and hw we decid to tk the course of life fwd...

Its turning 30 at mind..learning 4m experiences..but being 25 (even better 20) @ heart :) so u can cherish those experiences..and stil grow up....and yet njoy and appreciate life :)

Love her... pamper her..and thn bade her a gudbye...forever !

Have u ever wondered y sum ppl,sum memories just dnt go out of ur tgts...making u feel uncomfortable and sad @ times...

Wht do we do when smthngs just dnt get out of our mind...we fight within ourselves,ignore,get busy... But does dat realy help? For me it doesnt...and me being into the category of normal humans i asume it is just the case wth most of us...

I get into such troubles quite often...i guess dats coz my EQ (emotional quetiont)
is kind of higher than others..so i fall into ths trap of not been able to forget thngs..quite often..

I have tried and tested al the formulae of moving on..and discovred dat none works...i kept busy ,ate chocolates (trust me dsnt work) 24x7 workd hard on fb and eventualy changd my lingo wth omg...lol etc..
After al these efforts just figurd out one thng...nothng works !

Sadness is like a cute little puppy...the more u run away 4m it the more it wil chase u...the only way 2 deal wth it is..let it stay..hold it, pamper it and once its satisfied it wil leave. :)

and ths formula is tried tested and succesful...just b sad wn u r sad..dnt b scard of the fact that ppl wil tag u as "agony aunt" ofcourse they wil...let agony romance wth u completly...once its done it wil leave...

So..chill and lets celebrate sadness :) let it b satisfied..once it is done bade her a gudbye forever...

"Its a journey...and not a destination"

Love is a journey and not a destination!! Some days ago this sentence didnt really made sense to me.For me love was always a feeling neither a journey nor a destination.

i meet so many people..evry1 has his own definition 4 love...and each of these definition is just perfect.
Rite nw to me "love being a journey and nt destination" seems perfect.. :)
its a journey wr u knw a person daily and eventualy the realisation comes...thr is alws smthng abt dat person dat u wnt 2 knw more...

you see a person in his worst and u still want to love him ...u see him in his best and u just know ...u want to be with him
but i wonder ...how u really reach the person u want to take this journey with ..how do u know if he is the one ...how do you know if he is right.

and that is where the Magic happens. Magic where the most ordinary person becomes just so special , u just dont know y ....whn u stop at that person and u know nothing could have been better then this .

all of it sounds so whimsical but ask all those people who have been fortunate enough to have these feelings...... this is for real ...

Love happens ...the magic happens ....which leads us to that wonderful journey of life ..

:) :)

The fairy tale life

Some one told me thrs a difference betwn wt u percieve about urself and what you actually are.

But dnt we all live in a virtual world or atleast wish to live in dat world. Aint we all trying to be what we wish to be rather than what we are, striving for a better life always . Dont we all wish for a perfect life which seems like a "fairy tale" .yes,by saying
"all" i m also including those "practical" people who just stay rooted to ground and do not shut their eyes to the brutal world.(most of us are like dat) but in the process of being "real" dnt we just miss to see dat life is beautiful.

Isnt ths "fairy tale" perception of ours give us the strength of just moving on..belive in love..belive in trusting people u dnt knw...creating a perfect world for urself...

Each one of us come across nasty people..and gud people as well but y do we label the whole world as nasty...y do we stop appreciating love because one person broke ur heart...y do we presume thr is no truth left bcoz sum1 is untruthful...y do we create boundaries...y do we shut dat door wch takes us to the fairy tale world..

Y dnt we just apreciate life..we gt decieted so that we can value trust,our heart breaks so dat we can value love...

Its al abt hw u percieve ur life 2 b..that fairy tale life exists for real...u just have to come out of ur boundaries, inhibitions and perceptions...to embrace that life...

The language of silence !!!

It was a just another evening for me . I was on my way back home as usual cribbing about how bad the day at office was and all the things that have gone wrong in life.Feeling unhappy about the fact that every one around me is so happy and complaining that why only i have to deserve all the wrong things in life.

I was just loitering around observing all the happy faces and feeling even more miserable. Suddenly i saw a young boy and a girl completely unaware and indifferent to the outside world.Happy and smiling and completely immersed in each other.In the first look i presumed they are just another stereotypical "madly in love " kind of a couple. But , on a closer look i realised that they were not silent, they were talking to each other in sign language.i realised that they could neither speak nor hear each other.

They were "special" . NO! not special according to the modest lingo of the so called normal people like me , They were really special .Because they were the most content most happy faces amongst that crowd. As if they have everything in life.

It came to me as a tight slap on my face.Because few days back i wanted to help those "special" people. But today at that moment i was face to face with the reality which all of us ignore. I have ignored always.

These are not the people who need help. We are the ones who need serious help, we are the ones who need to learn from them. Today i realised that all of us so called normal people are weak, so weak that we dont even have the courage to acknowledge that.

Life is beautiful depends on how we look at it.I see people falling in love ,I see kids smiling ,group of friends just sitting and chit chatting, mother pampering kid , husband romancing his wife , an old couple enjoying each other as if they are on their first date :)
But i just "see" these moments, i dont observe i dont let these beautiful moments sink in .

With all our eccentricities we just miss observing all these wonderful moments...we just fail to appreciate what we have.
lets just open our arms and embrace life. live life in each moment :)it's actually beautiful.

I am sharing what 'I Saw and I Learnt' at BlogAdda.com in association with DoRight.in.

lets be stupid :) :)

Sometimes it’s just fine to concentrate on the” stupid things” in life .... they might be the weirdest , craziest, most bizarre things. 

Sometimes let's just do things not approved or understood by others, because in those moments you will live life to the fullest without any inhibitions, expectations and fear of losing .

Amongst all those important things we think about, career, money, relations lets just take out time to concentrate and think about the stupid things of life.

Ever thought why you don’t ever forget or regret the first time you bunked the school, the first time you kissed in the middle of the road, the first time you fell in love, you got drunk, winked at the girl next door (and may be got slapped too :P), punched the big fat guy, played with an unknown kid on street, just spoke to that charming guy u daily stare at in the bus .because in those moments you have just lived life :)

There will be always that one thing in your life which is not fine, there will be always one minute in the day that will make you frown, there will always be dat one person in your life who will break your heart. There will always be one dream that will not come true…

 Amongst all these unending disappointments let's just create space for stupidity….lets not be matured lets just enjoy life .. lets be stupid