कभी कभी यूँ ही मुड़कर उन खंडहरों में घूम आती हूँ,

ऐसा नही उसे फिरसे बसाने का अरमान है। 

पर, उन टूटी फूटी दीवारों के बीच ज़िंदगी हँसती थी कभी,

वहाँ जहाँ मकड़ी के जाले हैं अब, सपने बस्ते थे कभी,

वो उजड़ा सा बगीचा रंगों से खेलता था कभी,

उन धूल से भरी तस्वीरों में मुस्कुराते लम्हे बस्ते थे कभी,

मैं तो वहाँ बस अपने ज़िंदा होने का एहसास करने चली जाती हूँ

उस बर्बाद खंडहर से इतनी मोहब्बत थी कभी , 

की अब उसकी बर्बादी पे रोना नही आता,

बस एक सकून है की वो अब भी खड़ा है वहीं

...and you are still there but..

At the stroke of midnight we met after what seemed like ages.
You caressed my cheeks Brushed away the stroke of hairs dancing on my face.
You wanted to look at my face without any distraction.

We laughed and talked for hours. You said I never looked as beautiful ever. You came near I could feel the warmth of your breath.
I closed my eyes.....

When I opened my eyes...you were still there sleeping besides me.
Not even acknowledging my existence.....

The night was cold. The warmth of your touch was not there.
And I realised...It was just a dream.

A drop of tear trickled down from the corner of my eyes.
You are still there....sleeping or are you awake???

A question I ask every night to myself...surprised at the audacity of my dreams, which still make way.
may be even you want to know...am I asleep or still awake. Do I still dream




This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Those were the best days of my life

It Was the first day my tiny feet ventured to a new world outside
my eyes met yours, and you smiled.
we shared our dolls, ran in the parks and after rains enjoyed that wet mud..
But soon we were apart, and knew the time wont return
Your memories were the only reason I could smile..
I looked back and said - Ah those were the best days of my life.

I was lonely, and thought no one understands, and I met you.
You offered a cup of tea and we talked.
We shared those crazy dreams, whispered those secret thoughts. 
Together we Laughed like insane
We cried for heart breaks and reasons simply lame.
And one day you left, you had bigger dreams to chase.
Time passed by but our crazy laughter still remains.
I pause and look back sometimes 
and say ah..those were the best days of my life.

One day you came searching for me.
I was busy running behind the lifeless luxuries, 
I thought I had no time to waste.
I couldn't see you the fog of ambitions Made my Vision dazed.

Today,the fog has cleared
And I find none near.
I pause, look back and wish time did not fly.
I often pass by those,moments and say.
Ah..those were the best days of my life

‘Tring- Tring, the phone rang…!’

‘Tring- Tring, the phone rang…!’
She was scared to pick up the phone, 17 years ago on a day like this the phone rang to give her the news of captain ranjeet's death.
They had known each other since the first day of college, and fell in love almost instantaneously.
Adi, their son was 5 years old when the news came.
She didn't know what should she explain to adi.
But somehow adi understood, she cried the whole night holding him and he quietly hugged her.
At 21 adi Said - ma I want to join the army..she was shocked.
She fell silent for few mins, not knowing what to say.
Finally she uttered - ok beta, may lord Shiva always be by your side.
It has been over 15 days there has been no news from him. Last words she heard from him were - ma I miss the methi parathas, will come soon to savour them love you.
26th July 1982, was when Adi's dad died in a MIG plane crash, and today 26th July 1999, again the phone rang.
She picked up the phone with shivering hands and the voice on the other side Said - " ma we won, make methi parathas, will come home tommorow".
She was speechless yet again, tears of joy flowing through.
But suddenly, the tears of joy turned into tears of agony, knowing hundreds of mothers, haven't been,as lucky as her.
Silently she prayed for all the brave sons who sacrificed their lives in kargil.
She knew it won't be long enough when she will be dreading another phone call.
She wished that some day the phone rang and the voice on the other side Said -"the war is over , forever and ever"

...and I blushed..<3

It was raining that evening we met for the first time..
U looked into my eyes
and I blushed
you too were a little shy...
One day u gently took my hand, asked me to be forever yours..
And I blushed..
We knew our lives r taking another course
Standing near the pyre of fire we were taking vows..
And I blushed
I looked at u and I knew I couldn't have been loved any more
A part of you was breathing inside me, you kissed my forehead..
And I blushed. .
You had tears in your eyes,
you will always  be by my side, that day u had said.
Years went by, ur hands were frail..
But u still held my hand tight
You hugged me and Said how beautiful I looked that night
I saw u smiling, but your smile was getting blurred
And I blushed
With my last breath, that moment for the last time..

दिल करता है फिरसे पापा की गुड़िया बन जाऊं,

थके हारे जब लौटे पापा, अपनी छोटी - छोटी हथेलियों से उनका माथा सहलाऊं।

कड़कती सर्दियों में पापा की शौल में लिपटे हुए,

उनकी गोद में ही सो जाऊं।

माँ जब डांटे किसी बात पर ,

तो पापा के पास अर्ज़ी ले जाऊं।

पापा के साथ नुक्कड़ की उस दूकान पे जाकर,

मनमानी कर खूब सारी चॉकलेट ले आऊं।

बहुत हुआ ये खेल बडों का,
दिल करता है बस अब पापा की गुड़िया बन, उस चौखट फिर लौट जाऊं।

बारिश वाली एक वो शाम थी,
सड़क किनारे झगड़े थे जब हम,तर बतर पानी में भीगते हुए
कभी रूठते , कभी मनाते ,सरसराती ठण्ड से  कांपते हुए।

बारिश वाली एक वो शाम थी ,
जब एक  छोटी सी छतरी लेके मैंने तुमको घर तक छोड़ा था ,
वो अदना सी छतरी  बारिश के तेज़ झोंके रोक सके इतनी कहाँ औकात थी उसकी,
वो तो तुम्हारे साथ चंद लम्हे चुराने का एक बहाना  था।

बारिश वाली एक वो शाम थी,
जब तुम मिलने नहीं आये थे,
खिड़की के किनारे बारिश की बूंदों से खेलते हुए ,
न जाने कितने घंटो हमने फ़ोन पर, बातें करते हुए बिताए  थे।

बारिश वाली एक शाम आज भी है पर ,
अब हम झगड़ते नहीं है,
अदना सी वो छतरी आज भी है कहीं, पर अब हम साथ चलते नहीं है।
अब हम साथ में बारिश को साथ में बैठकर तकते ज़रूर है,
पर करने को बातें नहीं है।

बारिश वाली वो शाम तो आज भी आई है,
पर बूंदों में अब वो बात नहीं है।

हर वक़्त लगता है की कुछ कीमती सा खो गया गया है ,

ढूँढने निकलती हूँ  जब , तो क्या खोया मैंने समझ नहीं आता  है 

लगता है जैसे वो किताब जो पढ़नी  शुरू की थी मैंने , वो अब भी अधूरी है ,

पर पन्ने  छानती हूँ जब तो वो खोया हुआ जुमला कहीं मिल नहीं  पता है 

लगता है जैसे अरसों हुए घर लौटे ,

घर की तरफ निकलती  हूँ जब तो लौट  जाने का रास्ता नज़र नहीं आता है

कभी हँसते - हँसते एक आंसू पलकों पर उतर आता है,
फिरसे मुस्कुराने की कोशिश करती हूँ जब , तो वो हँसता सा लम्हा याद नहीं आता है।

इंसानों की इस बस्ती में, इंसानों ने ही मोल ना पाया,
पत्थरों को भगवान बनाकर, चार दीवारों में छुपाया,
भूल गए हम, खुले आसमानों में उड़ने वाले उस पंछी को भी ईश्वर ने ही बनाया।

फल, फूल, दूध, दही का चढ़ावा उस पत्थर को चढ़ाया,
इंसानों की भूख को भूल गए हम, जिसको उसी इश्वर ने बनाया।

इन पत्थरों के नाम पर हर दिन का एक रंग बनाया ,
भूल गए हम इस संसार के हर एक रंग को उसी इश्वर ने बनाया।

पत्थरों से बनी उस देवी को, कपड़ो, गहनों से सजाया,
भूल गए करना उस औरत का सम्मान जिसको उसी इश्वर ने बनाया।

पत्थरों  का धर्म बनाकर, उस एक दूजे का खून बहाया ,
भूल गए हम हर इंसान को एक सा, उसी इश्वर ने बनाया।

इंसानों की इस बस्ती में इंसानों ने ही मोल न पाया,
पत्थरों  की पूजा करते करते, ईश्वर के बनाये उस इंसान ने,
अपने अन्दर के इंसान को ही गंवाया।

एक छुपी सी ख्वाहिश........

कहीं दिल के कोने में दबी।

झांकती हुई एक छुपी सी ख्वाहिश है कहीं ......

आसमानों में उड़ने की नहीं,

 पर अपनी सी लगे जो, 

उस एक टुकड़े ज़मीन को पाने की।

एक छुपी सी ख्वाहिश है कहीं ......

सूरज के उजाले को छोड़कर ,

एक अपना सिर्फ अपना खामोश अँधेरा सा  कोना  ढूँढने की। 

एक छुपी सी ख्वाहिश है कहीं .....

अपने आस पास की मुस्कुराहटों से दूर जाकर 

एक छोटी सी मुस्कराहट अपने अन्दर ढूँढने की।

एक छुपी सी ख्वाहिश है कहीं ....

दूसरों की आशाओं को भूलकर 

थोड़ी देर के लिए ही सही,पर खुदगर्ज़ हो जाने की।

nirbhaya !! the invincible

Nirbhaya you did not die...
you live inside me
asking me why...


why were you told u could dream...
why were you told you could fly..
why were you told you were free..
To explore the world, to reach the sky....

Nirbhaya you shake me deep inside...
Ask me the first time I was disgraced y dint I fight...
Y did I not stand up for my rights....
Y did i choose to be meek and in that took pride..

I was a daughter, a sister ,wife and a mother but above all i was a creator...
Y did i not respect me...
Y i did not celebrate the birth of me.

Nirbhaya i see me in you...u did not die
Why i believed i am not meant to touch the sky...
Why i chained myself why i did not try..

Nirbhaya you woke me up from ages of slumber
you suffered for my sins...
You suffered because I dint speak...
U suffered because I was weak...

Nirbhaya u dint die...
U have started this fight...
You will stay always in my heart....
Reminding me always I m here not just to exist,but to survive

Nirbhaya you r that part of me which will stand for me...
You r that part of me which will value me
You r that part of me which will voice my opinion.
You r that part of me which will remind me I am a human..

Nirbhaya you dint die....
You r the invincible me...Who will defy,question,fight...
Will not submit to what isn't right.

Inside me you will always be alive...
Nirbhaya you will never die...